Poetry: Bound

Baby given up with no name;

Until someone took her in- shelter from the storm;

Once nameless, now framed with a name;

Adopted by a family, last name changed;

Growing up, a feeling she never could ignore;

Secrets kept, she never once implore;

Memories lost she couldn’t restore;

Bound lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused;

A house that felt like no home;

A family disconnected;

Betrayed of lies;

But one remained hidden deep inside;

Within her heart, a longing she couldn’t sway;

A face once without a name, named.

Had a home.

Had a family.

Had a life beyond some.

Yet, deep within,

A child once nameless,

Could never separate her from reality;

Deep within, her heart bound by

Lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused.

Year

Happy New Year all! New year, new you. That’s always what I hear each year. Weight Watchers ads for losing weight is currently running in between shows. I received one in mail a few days before 2016 had ended. I used to join it (2-3 times). Then I realized I am always going to fail at it. Although, I did reach losing ten pounds the last time I joined. That was a major achievement for me!

Yesterday, the last day of 2016, I weighed myself. I don’t usually do that. Judging by the result, I probably shouldn’t have. In 2014, I kept my weight around 150’s. Based on my height to weight ratio that’s not good. At times my weight would spiral upwards and downwards, but I managed to keep it around 150’s; rather than constant gaining.

After two weeks of holiday eating, I weighed myself yesterday to find I gained. I am now 165 pounds. That hit me by surprise because I thought I would be in 150’s. Honestly, I don’t know why I thought that. If I’m 150 and keep eating junk, I should be gaining.

It’s not like I took care of myself. I ate sugary foods, drank coke, digested foods containing heavy nickel. I’m allergic to nickel (metal and food). I am on a low nickel diet as of December 2014. But I keep failing on it.

When I first was told about my nickel food allergy, there were barely any articles. Last year there were a ton more blogs about it. With my body worn out on how I treated it, I have decided I need to make a change this year. I need to stay on my low nickel diet. That’s what I need.

Every new year I write take care of my health or lose weight for my resolutions. This year, it’s not only going to be about losing weight, but really trying to eat a low nickel diet.

I can take Allegra or any other allergy pills when I eat something I’m allergic to. But last year I realized Allegra can only help me if I do my part. If I keep taking Allegra to fight off an allergy I keep putting in me, eventually, Allegra will wave its white flag forfeiting and my allergy symptoms will win the war. 

So this year I have decided to try my best to follow my low nickel diet. It will be a struggle, but knowing there’s more articles on it and others going through the same thing helps. It sheds a light on a better year in maintaining my nickel allergy.

Do you or anyone you know have nickel allergy? What’s yours or their experience? Maybe we can bounce ideas off one another, or help each other. What are some of your New Years resolutions or goals?

Happy new year!

Thanksgiving Day…

Happy belated thanksgiving/turkey day. Happy for us but not for the turkeys day. Mom and I went to a family friend’s house for it. We didn’t celebrate much because Dad passed away this year. Mom didn’t feel like celebrating. But when a family friend invited us over she decided to go.

Mom failed to tell me until last minute that these friends had invited more people over. There, I felt so uncomfortable. My anxiety started kicking in. It didn’t help when someone sat next to me on the couch and another who knew her sat right next to her making this person move closer to me, bumping everytime. Could this be used as an example of Liminal? Googling today’s prompt- “occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold.” They were on one side while I nice decorated pillow occupied the tiny space I had left on the edge.

Anyways, I immediately got up and squeezed through the nearest table because I felt like I was losing air and couldn’t breathe. I know that’s rude. But hey, I want my space, especially when I never met you.

The whole time I stood around. My family friend did try and talk to me a little. Mom made new friends mingling. One or two of them did try talking to me.

Then, the time came for separating the older people from the youngest at the tables (basically adults from the kids, but there were no “kids”). They used some as an example. And they brought me up saying I can sit with my mom- since… (a little pause and a bit of a whisper they say) “I don’t know anyone there.” That made me feel even more worse.

Watching everyone chit chatting away, I thought, “Why cant I do that?” Why cant I just start a conversation? Or better yet, keep one going once someone else started it!

That was my Thanksgiving. How was yours?

Orangesicle

Hey all. Remember the post where I showed an orange/white blanket I started? I know you’re thinking, “That was how many months ago???” But it’s finally done. Well, length-wise. I need more width.


I wanted to know what colors would go with this. I’m thinking black and I have been told black. But my idea when I started this was orangesicle ice cream. You know the orange one on a stick with the white in the middle?


This one. I was thinking use a color similar to the popsicle stick. Maybe a cream color. Would that work? What do you think? Would you buy something like that?

Lyric: Just Me

A warrior’s heart is beating in my chest.
Don’t care that you ask
The past is already laid to rest.
You can open me up,
But I’ll never tell.

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
It’s plain to see.

A stubborn lil girl walking on this earth.
Heart of lonely tears,
A mind that erased all those years.
You can say what you want,
But I’ll never tell.

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
It’s plain to see.

If you don’t like what you’re hearing,
Why stay here believing
That we could be anything.
Hurtful words said and done.
Might as well just go and run.

Go and run…
(Run…)
Go and run…
(Run…)
Go ahead, go ahead
Run, run…
Go ahead, go ahead
Run, run, run.

You might as well-

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
Yeah, it’s plain to see

That if it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me
And that’s who I’ll ever be.

Practicing Cat Look for Halloween

… my nose looks like a cow nose.

NARS’s Velvet Lip Glide

Velvet Lip Glide is soft yet strong. Effortless and intense. Polished and provocative. It encourages you not to compromise.

These thirteen NARS Velvet Lip Glide’s are $26 each. Sephora sells a holiday Mind Game Lip Glide Set for $45. This set contains six minis (three cult faves and three limited editions).

Velvet Lip Glides are “high-pigment formula that glides like a gloss, cloaks like a lipstick- and feels like nothing else.”

These lip glides are non sticky, semi-matte without the dryness. NARS’ lip glides are “developed with Oil Infusion Complex, an innovative concentration of precious oils, fused to create a smooth-glide effect. Fully coats lips on contact with smooth, saturated, semi-matte style.

Named for the personal power and play of ’70s counterculture, Velvet Lip Glide shades invoke the era’s new vibe with references to legendary venues and unforgettable attitude.

Mineshaft: Above is mineshaft. This is a bright yellow-red shade that I love. It’s bright for a summertime day. Summer is over, but this color gives you something to hope for. This shade looks more orange on me. At least, it does to me. I love this one. It doesn’t seem patchy or inconsistent when applying. It glides on like NARS claims.La Main Bleue: A rich berry shade. This is the first one I purchased at Sephora store before buying the set and Mineshaft online.

I have worn this one at least two full days. I love this shade. Although it may not last all day for me, it’s easy to reapply at lunch time.Bound: Above and below pictures show a beautiful nude shade called bound. Bound is a soft rose pink on NARS’ site; on Sephora’s as a soft magenta.

Looking at the picture, this shade does not seem too much on me. It looks okay. But off the camera, I feel like this shade does not cover my dark spots on the outer areas of my lips as much as other colors.

No. 675: This shade is one of the three limited edition shades. This is a deep peach shade. Off camera, it looked like a brownish shade on me. I think it was due to the lighting. Overall, I really love this shade.

Chez Claude: I love this shade ever since my first swatch at Sephora store! Chez Claude is a warm pink. Usually pinks are my least favorite to wear on me. La Main Bleue and this are two of my favorites I have tried so far with this product. Chez Claude is another of the three limited edition lip glides.

Unspeakable: Described on Sephora’s site, Unspeakable is a reddish pink. NARS describes it as a Garnet color on theirs. On me, this doesn’t seem to have any pinks. It looks more dark brown with some reddish shade.

Plato’s: This is another favorite shade and it is a limited edition shade. This shade is described as a deep pink. This is another shade of pink I’m loving.

Toy: Toy is described as a deep plum on Sephora; however, on NARS’ site- deep aubergine.

Sephora’s how to use list three ways on applying these lip glides. Apply to bare lips for best color pay off and wear.

For more dramatic look, line the lips with NARS’ Velvet Lip liner for definition. Then, fill in with the lip glide for more intense, semi-matte color.

Blot lips and allow color to set for a few minutes for a sheer look.

Finally, for a stain effect, apply by pressing pigment into lips with the fingertips.

I never liked lip glosses. But this velvet textured lip glide doesn’t feel sticky and too much on my lips. I love the color pay off and that there is more than one way to wear it. There are thirteen shades and three limited edition included in the six mini holiday set. These feel moisturizing. They never make my lips feel dry or cracked/chapped.

This lip glides are semi-matte, as NARS claims; therefore, they do not dry fully matte and transfer can be expected. Depending on which of the three ways you apply it, transfer can range from little to a lot. Read below for the three ways to apply.

Each mini sized lip glides contain 0.12 oz/3.5 mL of product. Full size products contain 0.2 oz/5.9147 mL. The set is $45 and contains six mini. Each individual full size sells for $26.