Poetry: Bound

Baby given up with no name;

Until someone took her in- shelter from the storm;

Once nameless, now framed with a name;

Adopted by a family, last name changed;

Growing up, a feeling she never could ignore;

Secrets kept, she never once implore;

Memories lost she couldn’t restore;

Bound lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused;

A house that felt like no home;

A family disconnected;

Betrayed of lies;

But one remained hidden deep inside;

Within her heart, a longing she couldn’t sway;

A face once without a name, named.

Had a home.

Had a family.

Had a life beyond some.

Yet, deep within,

A child once nameless,

Could never separate her from reality;

Deep within, her heart bound by

Lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused.

Year

Happy New Year all! New year, new you. That’s always what I hear each year. Weight Watchers ads for losing weight is currently running in between shows. I received one in mail a few days before 2016 had ended. I used to join it (2-3 times). Then I realized I am always going to fail at it. Although, I did reach losing ten pounds the last time I joined. That was a major achievement for me!

Yesterday, the last day of 2016, I weighed myself. I don’t usually do that. Judging by the result, I probably shouldn’t have. In 2014, I kept my weight around 150’s. Based on my height to weight ratio that’s not good. At times my weight would spiral upwards and downwards, but I managed to keep it around 150’s; rather than constant gaining.

After two weeks of holiday eating, I weighed myself yesterday to find I gained. I am now 165 pounds. That hit me by surprise because I thought I would be in 150’s. Honestly, I don’t know why I thought that. If I’m 150 and keep eating junk, I should be gaining.

It’s not like I took care of myself. I ate sugary foods, drank coke, digested foods containing heavy nickel. I’m allergic to nickel (metal and food). I am on a low nickel diet as of December 2014. But I keep failing on it.

When I first was told about my nickel food allergy, there were barely any articles. Last year there were a ton more blogs about it. With my body worn out on how I treated it, I have decided I need to make a change this year. I need to stay on my low nickel diet. That’s what I need.

Every new year I write take care of my health or lose weight for my resolutions. This year, it’s not only going to be about losing weight, but really trying to eat a low nickel diet.

I can take Allegra or any other allergy pills when I eat something I’m allergic to. But last year I realized Allegra can only help me if I do my part. If I keep taking Allegra to fight off an allergy I keep putting in me, eventually, Allegra will wave its white flag forfeiting and my allergy symptoms will win the war. 

So this year I have decided to try my best to follow my low nickel diet. It will be a struggle, but knowing there’s more articles on it and others going through the same thing helps. It sheds a light on a better year in maintaining my nickel allergy.

Do you or anyone you know have nickel allergy? What’s yours or their experience? Maybe we can bounce ideas off one another, or help each other. What are some of your New Years resolutions or goals?

Happy new year!

Orangesicle

Hey all. Remember the post where I showed an orange/white blanket I started? I know you’re thinking, “That was how many months ago???” But it’s finally done. Well, length-wise. I need more width.


I wanted to know what colors would go with this. I’m thinking black and I have been told black. But my idea when I started this was orangesicle ice cream. You know the orange one on a stick with the white in the middle?


This one. I was thinking use a color similar to the popsicle stick. Maybe a cream color. Would that work? What do you think? Would you buy something like that?

Lyric: Just Me

A warrior’s heart is beating in my chest.
Don’t care that you ask
The past is already laid to rest.
You can open me up,
But I’ll never tell.

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
It’s plain to see.

A stubborn lil girl walking on this earth.
Heart of lonely tears,
A mind that erased all those years.
You can say what you want,
But I’ll never tell.

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
It’s plain to see.

If you don’t like what you’re hearing,
Why stay here believing
That we could be anything.
Hurtful words said and done.
Might as well just go and run.

Go and run…
(Run…)
Go and run…
(Run…)
Go ahead, go ahead
Run, run…
Go ahead, go ahead
Run, run, run.

You might as well-

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
Yeah, it’s plain to see

That if it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me
And that’s who I’ll ever be.

Practicing Cat Look for Halloween

… my nose looks like a cow nose.

Neutrogena Moisturizing Color Stick

Hello everyone! Today, I noticed Neutrogena had newer shades added to their original eight Moisturizing Color Sticks. When did they do that? I am not sure. I know these are not brand new, they may be a year old. But I’m just noticing them.

The first original eight shades were more sheer and shimmer finishes. That is why at first, they weren’t my go-to or my favorite. CVS store I went to, these sticks had “new” sticker on them, which is why I thought they were new. Even Neutrogena website mentions the “new” on the packaging still.

Neutrogena describes their product as a balm-like formula that is easily glidable. They provide a sheer wash of moisturizing color that last for hours. It instantly moisturizes lips, while conditioning them continuously, leaving lips softer, smoother, and moisturized in just three days with nothing on them.

These sticks are made with fruit extracts, mango, and shea butter. Packaging has a twist up allowing for perfect application everytime. No sharpener needed! They are dermatologist tested and comes now in 16 shades including the eight original, sheer and shimmering colors (10-80). These second half of the 16 shades (90-180) are more bold with a creamy finish. Neutrogena website says to apply these sticks frequently to keep lips soft, smooth, and moisturized. Therefore, these are not long-lasting and they do not claim it to be.

I purchased #130 Wine Berry and #150 Cherry Pink. Youtuber, emilynoel83 describes Wine Berry as more reddish. When first applying, I applied too much of Wine Berry. Applying too much made me feel a build-up around the inside that may eventually leave white/pinkish bleeding. I was worried it might look disgusting later. So you may want to be careful when applying. Too much application felt like a lip gloss texture.

The second shade, Cherry Pink, I applied better. When trying on this shade, I held the stick towards the end to glide it on lightly. I loved the look and feel of it. It didn’t have that gloss texture where eventually the insides will bleed and those white/pinkish stuff looks and feels like wax to me. People think I’m crazy when I say that; so, if you can describe it any better, please let me know.

After removing Wine Berry to try Cherry Pink, I noticed my lips looked beautiful as if the color was still there; yet, the color did not leave a stain. My lips still felt moisturized as well. I haven’t removed Cherry Pink.

I am in love with these two shades and would like to buy some more eventually. I want to use these for the next three days to see whether or not they live up to Neutrogena’s claim- lips will be softer, smoother, and moisturized in just three days with nothing on them. However, if it is something needing reapplied often, I cannot fathom using it during work because I cannot stop watching kids to worry about my lips.

I will be trying this tomorrow to get a feel for this and see whether it’s worth trying for three days and how my lips will look if I do not reapply until after five hours of wear. I am rather picky about my lips these days because of the dark areas that show. The dark areas are not as bad as they used to be, but still there’s some areas of it.

Below are the lip swatches and the wear of #150 after wearing for couple minutes.

Cherry Pink:

After one hour wearing Cherry Pink, see below.

Wine Berry:

Below: When Wine Berry was removed.


Have any of you tried these? What did you think of it?

Nyx’s Butter Lipsticks!

So buttery and so moisturizing. These bulleted butters have lasted mostly all day for me with a little amount of fading. Adding The Body Shop’s Mango Lip Butter made these lipsticks look and feel so good after my break ended. That, and reapplying if I didn’t want to use the lip butter. Either way, this lipstick gave me options!

Originally, I had purchased Licorice, Moonlit Night, and Thunderstorm. These I kept among the ones I purchased later to try.

Today, I added two more shades into my collection and plan on adding more soon because Ulta is having a sale on Nyx lip products! Both in store and online, Nyx’s Butter Lipsticks are sold for $3.99. That’s half the price! Also, Nyx’s other products, I believe, are included in this sale.

*When you visit your Ulta stores, be sure to sign up for their October drawing if they have one. You can choose to donate to Breast Cancer Awareness as well. If you choose not to, you can still sign up for the drawing, which ends at the end of this month.*

The first new addition to my 5 lipsticks from Nyx’s Butter Lipstick collection- Lifeguard. A beautiful dark red shade. This and Mary Jane were my favorite I tried today. I didn’t realize they were on sale until I saw the cashier ring them up. Otherwise, I’d have purchased a few more shades.

Next addition- Ripe Berry. I thought this would be more pigmented or darker for some reason. But it looked more nude on me. Can’t complain though as I like this as a nude color on me. I don’t have many nudes and I rarely like nude shades. I wonder if it looks darker on other skin tones?

Thunderstorm! Though, thunderstorms are often not fancied, this beautiful shade is gorgeous on the lips. I love this shade and it was one of the three I first purchased. For me, this is as dark as it gets and I’m quite happy with that because it doesn’t overwhelm me or worry me if it’s work appropriate or too much. I love this color!

Moonlit Night (a.k.a. Licorice)- I have two of these considering one store sold it as Licorice and another as Moonlit Night. Didn’t realize they were the exact same shade at that time (face palm!). This shade isn’t one I’d wear often. I love the color and would have used it more daily back when I was into the dark, bolds. Now, I feel this shade is too much on me. I used to not be able to wear any light colors, only dark. Amazing how things can change. Now, after used to of lighter and more different, vibrant colors- thunderstorm from Nyx, Rose Pop and Pow from Clinique, I can no longer see myself in that dark shade.
I love these Butter Lipsticks! They are my favorite drugstore brand lipsticks. They feel buttery and moisturizing. There’s a variety of shades to pick from. Therefore, there’s a shade for everyone! It last most of the day. You can reapply or add a nice lip butter or balm over the nice slightly faded stained lips.

Paired with Smashbox’s gel Mattifier, you can transform this Buttery texture from a creamy/buttery to a Mattified finish. See example below with Nyx’s Lifeguard.