Poetry: Bound

Baby given up with no name;

Until someone took her in- shelter from the storm;

Once nameless, now framed with a name;

Adopted by a family, last name changed;

Growing up, a feeling she never could ignore;

Secrets kept, she never once implore;

Memories lost she couldn’t restore;

Bound lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused;

A house that felt like no home;

A family disconnected;

Betrayed of lies;

But one remained hidden deep inside;

Within her heart, a longing she couldn’t sway;

A face once without a name, named.

Had a home.

Had a family.

Had a life beyond some.

Yet, deep within,

A child once nameless,

Could never separate her from reality;

Deep within, her heart bound by

Lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused.

Year

Happy New Year all! New year, new you. That’s always what I hear each year. Weight Watchers ads for losing weight is currently running in between shows. I received one in mail a few days before 2016 had ended. I used to join it (2-3 times). Then I realized I am always going to fail at it. Although, I did reach losing ten pounds the last time I joined. That was a major achievement for me!

Yesterday, the last day of 2016, I weighed myself. I don’t usually do that. Judging by the result, I probably shouldn’t have. In 2014, I kept my weight around 150’s. Based on my height to weight ratio that’s not good. At times my weight would spiral upwards and downwards, but I managed to keep it around 150’s; rather than constant gaining.

After two weeks of holiday eating, I weighed myself yesterday to find I gained. I am now 165 pounds. That hit me by surprise because I thought I would be in 150’s. Honestly, I don’t know why I thought that. If I’m 150 and keep eating junk, I should be gaining.

It’s not like I took care of myself. I ate sugary foods, drank coke, digested foods containing heavy nickel. I’m allergic to nickel (metal and food). I am on a low nickel diet as of December 2014. But I keep failing on it.

When I first was told about my nickel food allergy, there were barely any articles. Last year there were a ton more blogs about it. With my body worn out on how I treated it, I have decided I need to make a change this year. I need to stay on my low nickel diet. That’s what I need.

Every new year I write take care of my health or lose weight for my resolutions. This year, it’s not only going to be about losing weight, but really trying to eat a low nickel diet.

I can take Allegra or any other allergy pills when I eat something I’m allergic to. But last year I realized Allegra can only help me if I do my part. If I keep taking Allegra to fight off an allergy I keep putting in me, eventually, Allegra will wave its white flag forfeiting and my allergy symptoms will win the war. 

So this year I have decided to try my best to follow my low nickel diet. It will be a struggle, but knowing there’s more articles on it and others going through the same thing helps. It sheds a light on a better year in maintaining my nickel allergy.

Do you or anyone you know have nickel allergy? What’s yours or their experience? Maybe we can bounce ideas off one another, or help each other. What are some of your New Years resolutions or goals?

Happy new year!

Practicing Cat Look for Halloween

… my nose looks like a cow nose.

Prompt: Graceful

Last few weeks, watching the kids play, I been noticing certain girls wanting to teach dance to their friends. They come and tell me how no one wants to play with them. To which I ask, “Did you even ask them to play?” Their response, “No.” Then, I tell them how I can’t help them when they didn’t try. I tell them they need to ask because no one can read their minds. Sometimes they run away asking, other times they stand there looking confused. Kids.

One day I asked them what are they planning on playing because when I suggest some kids to ask to play with, they say no, they don’t want to ask them. They look embarrassed or weirded out in asking those kids (mainly the boys). The girls tell me excitedly they are dancing. And they need two more two teach it.

I’ve seen two of the girls when they teach dancing, they are very picky about how their classmates are standing. If their classmate moves from that position, the girls would immediately go back to them and move them to the correct position.

It’s not just the younger age group of girls dancing, it’s also a few of the older girls; however, the older kids don’t get as picky on positions and move their friends to the position they are telling.

I watch how the kids turn so gracefully and sway to a tune in their heads. The older kids hum the tune sometimes. The younger kids, most of them don’t. If you ask them to sing a song, some of the kids in the younger age go quiet. A lot of them don’t like the spotlight and yet, they’ll dance right there in front of everyone.

It’s fun watching the kids have fun. They do work all morning in the classroom and their routine is about the same everyday- it can get rather boring. Play time they can run around outside, climb on the jungle gym or the monkey bars for the older kids. They can express themselves.

Graceful

Prompt: Fragile

Fragile

There once was a girl named Seraphina Rose. At her school, her name was unique compared to those. And so, Seraphina was picked on by many.

A bright and beautiful girl with lips as pure as rose. Her mind shudder as the day goes. Nights she cried and mornings she tried, but fragile still showed.

A once little girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, little did she believe her life would come to this. Burst of tears; worries and fears; her heart broken in two waiting for tomorrow. A fragile soul hoping tomorrow would be better. But the zombie life she lives still tomorrow she drives.

Prompt: Cheat

Cheat

I have been working with daycare kids since 2012 and switched to a private school since last February. Since then, I have realized, not only high school students try to copy and cheat off one another on homework, papers, test, etc. Even 3.5-5.5 year olds try to copy off of each other’s papers!

There are two little girls- they are cousins. They have the same level of paperwork. After passing out the papers, the children sit and do their work. The teacher made it clear for them to do it on their own. She’s the lead teacher, so I say, “Ok”. As long as they try we can help them.

No matter how many times the other teacher tells them they have to be separated or tell them to separate they find their way together again. They sit together and one peaks onto the other’s paper or even ask, “Is this one right?” I think it’s cute they learning off of each other because they are cousins. One does know some of it a bit more than the other. Still, it’s not good to start a habit in copying.

I find it interesting that whenever the other teachers been around these girls always go and sit together. But when teacher goes off on vacation and it’s just me or me and a helper, they only did it once or twice to me in two weeks.

Looking at the word “Cheat”, I was thinking about these two girls. How they haven’t sat together last whole week and the week before. Week before they only did it once or twice that was it.

They aren’t the only ones. Another two girls used to sit together everyday, too. They started to separate and do their own work, rather than sit and talk and exchange answers.

I hope they keep at it because I don’t want them going to another school and get caught copying off of someone else’s work. I always tell these kids to try to do it by yourself. I won’t be following you into your other schools to help you. They just shake their heads- some understand, some I question whether they do.