Poetry: Bound

Baby given up with no name;

Until someone took her in- shelter from the storm;

Once nameless, now framed with a name;

Adopted by a family, last name changed;

Growing up, a feeling she never could ignore;

Secrets kept, she never once implore;

Memories lost she couldn’t restore;

Bound lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused;

A house that felt like no home;

A family disconnected;

Betrayed of lies;

But one remained hidden deep inside;

Within her heart, a longing she couldn’t sway;

A face once without a name, named.

Had a home.

Had a family.

Had a life beyond some.

Yet, deep within,

A child once nameless,

Could never separate her from reality;

Deep within, her heart bound by

Lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused.

Year

Happy New Year all! New year, new you. That’s always what I hear each year. Weight Watchers ads for losing weight is currently running in between shows. I received one in mail a few days before 2016 had ended. I used to join it (2-3 times). Then I realized I am always going to fail at it. Although, I did reach losing ten pounds the last time I joined. That was a major achievement for me!

Yesterday, the last day of 2016, I weighed myself. I don’t usually do that. Judging by the result, I probably shouldn’t have. In 2014, I kept my weight around 150’s. Based on my height to weight ratio that’s not good. At times my weight would spiral upwards and downwards, but I managed to keep it around 150’s; rather than constant gaining.

After two weeks of holiday eating, I weighed myself yesterday to find I gained. I am now 165 pounds. That hit me by surprise because I thought I would be in 150’s. Honestly, I don’t know why I thought that. If I’m 150 and keep eating junk, I should be gaining.

It’s not like I took care of myself. I ate sugary foods, drank coke, digested foods containing heavy nickel. I’m allergic to nickel (metal and food). I am on a low nickel diet as of December 2014. But I keep failing on it.

When I first was told about my nickel food allergy, there were barely any articles. Last year there were a ton more blogs about it. With my body worn out on how I treated it, I have decided I need to make a change this year. I need to stay on my low nickel diet. That’s what I need.

Every new year I write take care of my health or lose weight for my resolutions. This year, it’s not only going to be about losing weight, but really trying to eat a low nickel diet.

I can take Allegra or any other allergy pills when I eat something I’m allergic to. But last year I realized Allegra can only help me if I do my part. If I keep taking Allegra to fight off an allergy I keep putting in me, eventually, Allegra will wave its white flag forfeiting and my allergy symptoms will win the war. 

So this year I have decided to try my best to follow my low nickel diet. It will be a struggle, but knowing there’s more articles on it and others going through the same thing helps. It sheds a light on a better year in maintaining my nickel allergy.

Do you or anyone you know have nickel allergy? What’s yours or their experience? Maybe we can bounce ideas off one another, or help each other. What are some of your New Years resolutions or goals?

Happy new year!

Thanksgiving Day…

Happy belated thanksgiving/turkey day. Happy for us but not for the turkeys day. Mom and I went to a family friend’s house for it. We didn’t celebrate much because Dad passed away this year. Mom didn’t feel like celebrating. But when a family friend invited us over she decided to go.

Mom failed to tell me until last minute that these friends had invited more people over. There, I felt so uncomfortable. My anxiety started kicking in. It didn’t help when someone sat next to me on the couch and another who knew her sat right next to her making this person move closer to me, bumping everytime. Could this be used as an example of Liminal? Googling today’s prompt- “occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold.” They were on one side while I nice decorated pillow occupied the tiny space I had left on the edge.

Anyways, I immediately got up and squeezed through the nearest table because I felt like I was losing air and couldn’t breathe. I know that’s rude. But hey, I want my space, especially when I never met you.

The whole time I stood around. My family friend did try and talk to me a little. Mom made new friends mingling. One or two of them did try talking to me.

Then, the time came for separating the older people from the youngest at the tables (basically adults from the kids, but there were no “kids”). They used some as an example. And they brought me up saying I can sit with my mom- since… (a little pause and a bit of a whisper they say) “I don’t know anyone there.” That made me feel even more worse.

Watching everyone chit chatting away, I thought, “Why cant I do that?” Why cant I just start a conversation? Or better yet, keep one going once someone else started it!

That was my Thanksgiving. How was yours?

Orangesicle

Hey all. Remember the post where I showed an orange/white blanket I started? I know you’re thinking, “That was how many months ago???” But it’s finally done. Well, length-wise. I need more width.


I wanted to know what colors would go with this. I’m thinking black and I have been told black. But my idea when I started this was orangesicle ice cream. You know the orange one on a stick with the white in the middle?


This one. I was thinking use a color similar to the popsicle stick. Maybe a cream color. Would that work? What do you think? Would you buy something like that?

´╗┐Kids Say the Darnest Things…

Kid: You can’t shower on the floor.

Me: Why?

Kid: Because it’ll get dirty.

Me: Where do you shower, then?

Kid: In the toilet.

That’s my cousin’s cousin saying this to me lol.

Baby Step 1

Okay, so I signed up for Financial Peace University. For those of you who don’t know what it is, have you heard of Dave Ramsey? If so, that might help you out. If not, well, I’m fairly new in knowing about him and FPU.
But the church I attend is offering a 9 week session on managing/budgeting money. If you don’t know anything about Dave Ramsey, I actually had no clue until last Saturday when finding some YouTube videos of his talks.
Dave Ramsey talks a lot about how to get out of debt and be at financial peace. There are 7 steps that he calls baby steps. The first baby step is to save $1,000 in emergency fund as quickly as possible.
When hearing this, I’m like, “How in the world can I save that much quickly?” Quickly as in a month or two. I thought of the bags I have. I have two bags that I received free from Macys purchasing Taylor Swift’s perfumes. I also received a bag free from them purchasing a Selena Gomez’s perfume. I have a fossile bag that looks nice still and I barely use it. I also have bags I purchased from Walmart. I have more bags than I need. So that’s my first thing I could sell.
Speaking of perfumes, can you sell used to barely used perfumes? I have Taylor Swift’s Wonderstruck and Wonderstruck Enchanted that I cannot use for my poor nose does not tolerate the scent anymore. I also have a Red Door from Elizabeth Arden, Selena Gomez’s perfume, and a few Bath and Body Works ones. Would those be something I could sell? Or would it be like makeup, once used no one would really want to use it or even buy it.

Below shows two bags I could sell. What do you think? How much would they sell for? The Lipstick shape bag is Selena Gomez’s and the other is one of Taylor Swift’s.

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Clinique+Make Up For Ever

Clinique Intense Quickliner: Licorice, Clinique Pop Lipstick: Cherry Pop (used finger to apply), and Make Up Forever Artist Rouge Mat M300.