Poetry: Bound

Baby given up with no name;

Until someone took her in- shelter from the storm;

Once nameless, now framed with a name;

Adopted by a family, last name changed;

Growing up, a feeling she never could ignore;

Secrets kept, she never once implore;

Memories lost she couldn’t restore;

Bound lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused;

A house that felt like no home;

A family disconnected;

Betrayed of lies;

But one remained hidden deep inside;

Within her heart, a longing she couldn’t sway;

A face once without a name, named.

Had a home.

Had a family.

Had a life beyond some.

Yet, deep within,

A child once nameless,

Could never separate her from reality;

Deep within, her heart bound by

Lost, lonely, abandoned, hopeless, dazed, and confused.

Year

Happy New Year all! New year, new you. That’s always what I hear each year. Weight Watchers ads for losing weight is currently running in between shows. I received one in mail a few days before 2016 had ended. I used to join it (2-3 times). Then I realized I am always going to fail at it. Although, I did reach losing ten pounds the last time I joined. That was a major achievement for me!

Yesterday, the last day of 2016, I weighed myself. I don’t usually do that. Judging by the result, I probably shouldn’t have. In 2014, I kept my weight around 150’s. Based on my height to weight ratio that’s not good. At times my weight would spiral upwards and downwards, but I managed to keep it around 150’s; rather than constant gaining.

After two weeks of holiday eating, I weighed myself yesterday to find I gained. I am now 165 pounds. That hit me by surprise because I thought I would be in 150’s. Honestly, I don’t know why I thought that. If I’m 150 and keep eating junk, I should be gaining.

It’s not like I took care of myself. I ate sugary foods, drank coke, digested foods containing heavy nickel. I’m allergic to nickel (metal and food). I am on a low nickel diet as of December 2014. But I keep failing on it.

When I first was told about my nickel food allergy, there were barely any articles. Last year there were a ton more blogs about it. With my body worn out on how I treated it, I have decided I need to make a change this year. I need to stay on my low nickel diet. That’s what I need.

Every new year I write take care of my health or lose weight for my resolutions. This year, it’s not only going to be about losing weight, but really trying to eat a low nickel diet.

I can take Allegra or any other allergy pills when I eat something I’m allergic to. But last year I realized Allegra can only help me if I do my part. If I keep taking Allegra to fight off an allergy I keep putting in me, eventually, Allegra will wave its white flag forfeiting and my allergy symptoms will win the war. 

So this year I have decided to try my best to follow my low nickel diet. It will be a struggle, but knowing there’s more articles on it and others going through the same thing helps. It sheds a light on a better year in maintaining my nickel allergy.

Do you or anyone you know have nickel allergy? What’s yours or their experience? Maybe we can bounce ideas off one another, or help each other. What are some of your New Years resolutions or goals?

Happy new year!

Lyric: Just Me

A warrior’s heart is beating in my chest.
Don’t care that you ask
The past is already laid to rest.
You can open me up,
But I’ll never tell.

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
It’s plain to see.

A stubborn lil girl walking on this earth.
Heart of lonely tears,
A mind that erased all those years.
You can say what you want,
But I’ll never tell.

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
It’s plain to see.

If you don’t like what you’re hearing,
Why stay here believing
That we could be anything.
Hurtful words said and done.
Might as well just go and run.

Go and run…
(Run…)
Go and run…
(Run…)
Go ahead, go ahead
Run, run…
Go ahead, go ahead
Run, run, run.

You might as well-

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
Yeah, it’s plain to see

That if it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me
And that’s who I’ll ever be.

Practicing Cat Look for Halloween

… my nose looks like a cow nose.

NARS’s Velvet Lip Glide

Velvet Lip Glide is soft yet strong. Effortless and intense. Polished and provocative. It encourages you not to compromise.

These thirteen NARS Velvet Lip Glide’s are $26 each. Sephora sells a holiday Mind Game Lip Glide Set for $45. This set contains six minis (three cult faves and three limited editions).

Velvet Lip Glides are “high-pigment formula that glides like a gloss, cloaks like a lipstick- and feels like nothing else.”

These lip glides are non sticky, semi-matte without the dryness. NARS’ lip glides are “developed with Oil Infusion Complex, an innovative concentration of precious oils, fused to create a smooth-glide effect. Fully coats lips on contact with smooth, saturated, semi-matte style.

Named for the personal power and play of ’70s counterculture, Velvet Lip Glide shades invoke the era’s new vibe with references to legendary venues and unforgettable attitude.

Mineshaft: Above is mineshaft. This is a bright yellow-red shade that I love. It’s bright for a summertime day. Summer is over, but this color gives you something to hope for. This shade looks more orange on me. At least, it does to me. I love this one. It doesn’t seem patchy or inconsistent when applying. It glides on like NARS claims.La Main Bleue: A rich berry shade. This is the first one I purchased at Sephora store before buying the set and Mineshaft online.

I have worn this one at least two full days. I love this shade. Although it may not last all day for me, it’s easy to reapply at lunch time.Bound: Above and below pictures show a beautiful nude shade called bound. Bound is a soft rose pink on NARS’ site; on Sephora’s as a soft magenta.

Looking at the picture, this shade does not seem too much on me. It looks okay. But off the camera, I feel like this shade does not cover my dark spots on the outer areas of my lips as much as other colors.

No. 675: This shade is one of the three limited edition shades. This is a deep peach shade. Off camera, it looked like a brownish shade on me. I think it was due to the lighting. Overall, I really love this shade.

Chez Claude: I love this shade ever since my first swatch at Sephora store! Chez Claude is a warm pink. Usually pinks are my least favorite to wear on me. La Main Bleue and this are two of my favorites I have tried so far with this product. Chez Claude is another of the three limited edition lip glides.

Unspeakable: Described on Sephora’s site, Unspeakable is a reddish pink. NARS describes it as a Garnet color on theirs. On me, this doesn’t seem to have any pinks. It looks more dark brown with some reddish shade.

Plato’s: This is another favorite shade and it is a limited edition shade. This shade is described as a deep pink. This is another shade of pink I’m loving.

Toy: Toy is described as a deep plum on Sephora; however, on NARS’ site- deep aubergine.

Sephora’s how to use list three ways on applying these lip glides. Apply to bare lips for best color pay off and wear.

For more dramatic look, line the lips with NARS’ Velvet Lip liner for definition. Then, fill in with the lip glide for more intense, semi-matte color.

Blot lips and allow color to set for a few minutes for a sheer look.

Finally, for a stain effect, apply by pressing pigment into lips with the fingertips.

I never liked lip glosses. But this velvet textured lip glide doesn’t feel sticky and too much on my lips. I love the color pay off and that there is more than one way to wear it. There are thirteen shades and three limited edition included in the six mini holiday set. These feel moisturizing. They never make my lips feel dry or cracked/chapped.

This lip glides are semi-matte, as NARS claims; therefore, they do not dry fully matte and transfer can be expected. Depending on which of the three ways you apply it, transfer can range from little to a lot. Read below for the three ways to apply.

Each mini sized lip glides contain 0.12 oz/3.5 mL of product. Full size products contain 0.2 oz/5.9147 mL. The set is $45 and contains six mini. Each individual full size sells for $26.

Prompt: Subdue

Today, is a rather Subdued kind of day. I can’t shake this feeling I have felt since last September.

No matter what I do, I feel like a failure. Useless. Worthless. No one needs me.

I spend my money because the only place I can roam off to, if not home, is the shopping centers. Squander every dollar, every penny.

Somehow, I have not touched my emergency funds envelope I started this month for a class I’m taking.

An African American lady yelled at me- how I’m blocking the whole damn street- in her own words. She almost hit my car to make me reverse. Stubborn me just honked my horn not moving. Was I right? Was I wrong? Maybe that was a battle I should have walked away from.

But this is why I stayed. I sat there waiting for a parking space for like 5 minutes. I turned the correct way where the arrows show entrance. She just comes from the opposite side and knows I’m there. The lady walking knew I was there.

Yet, this lady in the car decides to ask her if she could have that parking space.

I felt invisible. I felt hurt. Why do people have to be so rude? And then she has the nerve to call me rude for I’m entering the area correctly and waiting patiently for a parking space when she’s coming from the other end and saying I’m blocking the street. I wanted to tell her lady, this is not a street. But I decided not to.

Lancôme Lip Primer

Apparently, this little bullet is the best there is; moisturizing, smoothing, and keeping your lipsticks last longer, especially the dry down mattes.

Pardon the slight pinkish ombré-ness. I had used this before applying my Julep’s Whipped “Kiss Me” and Smashbox’s Always On “Miss Conduct”.

With or without this primer, I like how Julep liquid lipstick feels on my lips. It’s not overly drying at first. I haven’t worn it all day to see the longevity and feel of it, though.

However, this primer underneath Smashbox’s gave my lips a nondrying feel as this dried down to its matte finish.

When I first wore Miss Conduct couple months ago, I was able to have little to no transfer. It was mainly the red shades that had more transfer. This was obviously worn without the primer, since this is my first time trying a primer other than Too Faced one I purchased few years ago.

Today, with the primer, there is a lot of transfer. However, once it’s fully dried down, the transfer may be lessened or none.

I did not test Julep’s for transfer proof. I had forgotten! But I am sure if this primer was worn underneath there would be some transfer like Smashbox’s.

I mentioned I had tried a Too Faced Lip Primer before. That one was my least favorite. It was the first and the last primer I ever used on my lips. I didn’t like it one bit.

Too Faced Primer didn’t come in a bullet packaging; rather, it came in a lengthwise packaging similar to liquid lipsticks and lip gloss kinds.

Opening it up, there is a wand applicator for applying. I didn’t have any problems with the wand. There really wasn’t much wrong other than the texture itself.

Once applying something over that product, my lips didn’t feel good at all. It felt horrible like there was too much on my lips and I just had to remove it immediately.

I was a bit iffy on buying Lancôme’s because of the price $30.50. I did check out the drugstore area. The makeup artist at Ulta said he preferred Lancôme’s over Nyx’s. In the end, I decided on Lancôme and I am very happy with my decision.

Although the price is high, I love the feeling this bulleted lip primer in shade #00 Invisible gives. It goes on clear, yet there’s a bit of shimmer, which you can clearly see on the lipstick itself that there is a shine.

Personally, I love this lipstick. I’m wearing it before bedtime because I feel like it helps my lips feel moisturized and it’s not overwhelming me the amount I applied. I feel like you can’t go wrong with the amount of product applied. I applied over and over and still didn’t feel like too much went on.

Looking on Lancôme’s website, I didn’t realize all their individual lipsticks shades are in this same formula. I am interested in trying some more of their other shades. This one specifically can be used as a clear base before applying any matte lip stains.

I’m sure all the other ones will do the same. But because of their color pigmentation, the clear one will be more go-to as an underneath primer.

Also, something Ulta’s Makeup Artist/Sale’s Rep told me- during the day you can reapply this primer right ontop of the liquid lipstick you are wearing that day without removing it. You don’t need to reapply the liquid lipstick if you are reapplying the base. Reapplying the base will not mess up any part of your liquid lipstick.