Year

Happy New Year all! New year, new you. That’s always what I hear each year. Weight Watchers ads for losing weight is currently running in between shows. I received one in mail a few days before 2016 had ended. I used to join it (2-3 times). Then I realized I am always going to fail at it. Although, I did reach losing ten pounds the last time I joined. That was a major achievement for me!

Yesterday, the last day of 2016, I weighed myself. I don’t usually do that. Judging by the result, I probably shouldn’t have. In 2014, I kept my weight around 150’s. Based on my height to weight ratio that’s not good. At times my weight would spiral upwards and downwards, but I managed to keep it around 150’s; rather than constant gaining.

After two weeks of holiday eating, I weighed myself yesterday to find I gained. I am now 165 pounds. That hit me by surprise because I thought I would be in 150’s. Honestly, I don’t know why I thought that. If I’m 150 and keep eating junk, I should be gaining.

It’s not like I took care of myself. I ate sugary foods, drank coke, digested foods containing heavy nickel. I’m allergic to nickel (metal and food). I am on a low nickel diet as of December 2014. But I keep failing on it.

When I first was told about my nickel food allergy, there were barely any articles. Last year there were a ton more blogs about it. With my body worn out on how I treated it, I have decided I need to make a change this year. I need to stay on my low nickel diet. That’s what I need.

Every new year I write take care of my health or lose weight for my resolutions. This year, it’s not only going to be about losing weight, but really trying to eat a low nickel diet.

I can take Allegra or any other allergy pills when I eat something I’m allergic to. But last year I realized Allegra can only help me if I do my part. If I keep taking Allegra to fight off an allergy I keep putting in me, eventually, Allegra will wave its white flag forfeiting and my allergy symptoms will win the war. 

So this year I have decided to try my best to follow my low nickel diet. It will be a struggle, but knowing there’s more articles on it and others going through the same thing helps. It sheds a light on a better year in maintaining my nickel allergy.

Do you or anyone you know have nickel allergy? What’s yours or their experience? Maybe we can bounce ideas off one another, or help each other. What are some of your New Years resolutions or goals?

Happy new year!

Lyric: Just Me

A warrior’s heart is beating in my chest.
Don’t care that you ask
The past is already laid to rest.
You can open me up,
But I’ll never tell.

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
It’s plain to see.

A stubborn lil girl walking on this earth.
Heart of lonely tears,
A mind that erased all those years.
You can say what you want,
But I’ll never tell.

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
It’s plain to see.

If you don’t like what you’re hearing,
Why stay here believing
That we could be anything.
Hurtful words said and done.
Might as well just go and run.

Go and run…
(Run…)
Go and run…
(Run…)
Go ahead, go ahead
Run, run…
Go ahead, go ahead
Run, run, run.

You might as well-

If it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me.
I’ve been this way
And will never change-
Yeah, it’s plain to see

That if it’s walk or talk,
I’d rather you walk.
I’m sorry that’s just me
And that’s who I’ll ever be.

Prompt: Complicated+MTS: His Last Days

Prompt: Complicated

MTS- My Trending Storieshttps://mytrendingstories.com/profile/lisa-maria/

Webster’s Dictionary defines complicated as “difficult to analyze, understand, or explain.” Life is complicated. When you’re a little kid though, life wasn’t all that complicated. All the worries and stress are at a distance as you roll down a hill laughing, run with the wind, soar like you’re flying through the sky, etc. As you grow older, reality hits you. You see more and more things clearly. You watch the ones you love suffer in pain and lose them after the storm. You question everything. You question God. Why does He take away the ones you love? So many questions lead to answers that leave more questions, which are best left unanswered. Life’s complicated. We stray from the path we used to follow- a path of hopes of tomorrow- a path of love- only to find ourselves lost in anguish and destruction. Some can turn back, others are lost for good.

My mind wanders memories of my Dad who passed away last March. Within those memories, I remember the past two years my Dad used to say he wanted to spend his last days in the forest. I wonder why for I couldn’t fathom anyone living in a forest, especially on their last days. Then I see pictures of forest, hear sounds of nature’s songs and realize maybe that’s why. The forest can be many things- adventurous, dangerous, dark, scary, etc. Among the many descriptions, the forest can also be calming and peaceful.

During my Dad’s last days, I wonder if he did visit a forest. When he had moments of sleep, did he dream of walking with God through the trails? Did he sit beside a tree and hear the birds sing? Did he feel lonely? Did he feel safe?

On his last days, I remember turning on the television. He said I could flip through the channels and so I did. Channel after channel I surfed until I found some images of flowers and nature’s beauty pictured on the screen. Dad saw it and he smiled when I told him he used to say he wanted to spend his last days in the forest. I didn’t know it was really his last days. But I’m glad it made him smile to see those.

Trying to clean my room, as always I became distracted. Throwing away papers, I found a notebook. Flipping through pages, I saw a poem, which reminded me of my Dad. I know he was the reason why I sat down and found an image of a forest. I know he was the reason behind this poem. I don’t remember writing it. I don’t remember which image I looked at while writing it. But something about the forest and Dad saying he wanted to spend his last days there moved me. Something about it made me get lost in that picture enough to write this poem. According to the date and time, I wrote this poem at midnight on January 14, 2016. You would think I would remember considering it was written this year. But I don’t. The poem itself is written in another post; however, I will add it onto this one as well.

Dear God,
oh, how I wish,
I wish to be lost in a forest.
The many shades of green
and sounds of water streams.
Birds chirp a tune,
at night, campfires fume,
a peaceful walk through its trails,
calming my awakened stress.
Forest, God bless.
Sending serenity
with an owls hoot,
night time crickets,
a morning sun
to awaken the hearts.
How do I fall out of love
with a sight like that?
A melody sung
while adventures begun.
What journeys do these high trees bring?
Where does the wind blow me?
What do the animals ring?
Is there a new beginning
somewhere deep in a forest?

*peace&God Bless*
Lisa Maria

Prompt: Emptiness

Is the glass half full or half empty?

Does it matter? There’s something in there. How can it be empty?

I lay here with an emptiness inside me. I know I should be happy. You are not suffering anymore. Those breathing tubes, don’t need any longer. The last breath you took filled the room with sadness. Tears dropped from the eyes of loved ones. An emptiness that could never be filled. Losing a unique, very intelligent individual some cherished. They say, “Life is too short.” You had chances doctor’s say are miracles you pulled through. Last year, God gave you another year and two months with us. We should be grateful. Twenty+ years battling heart disease, diabetes, blood pressure; chest pains led to heart attacks, led to breathing tube through mouth; almost a tracheostomy, but God said, “Not today.” We should be grateful; still, an emptiness in the air. Sadness in the midst. But life is life. Whoever is left behind must pick up the pieces. Time ticks on. Even with the emptiness we still carry on. It’s life. It’s what our passed loved ones would want. Emptiness, we tread this world with only one intention, to do better.

Empty

**The Rabbit and Its Tail is now available for preorder. In loving memory of my Dad, it will be available on his birthday- July 8, 2016. Please click and visit: The Rabbit and Its Tail link. More information is posted on my blog as well as on Amazon Kindle.**

Prompt/Poem: His Last Days

Summer skies, yet I’m in gloom.

Remembering the day that felt like doom.

I should be happy,

That was his only wish.

But all I can remember

And all I can think of is this:

3:39am last breath he took.

I watched him lay there lifeless.

Memories flooded; outside no light.

Sounds of birds chirping nonstop.

Cries throughout the room

Knowing his days of fighting were at end.

No longer in pain.

No longer to suffer.

No more breathing tubes.

No more daily oxygen machine.

No more chest pains or heart attacks.

Just still pictures and vague memories.

His voice is fading.

I cannot remember how it sounded.

Only that it was strong.

With every words he said,

Deep breath he’d take.

Every step, every climb,

More and more weaker,

He’d slow down to take another breath.

In our midst his life deteriorated.

But he wouldn’t let us see.

When he smiled no teeth did show.

Only six he had left.

Through his weakened state,

He still helped his family.

Didn’t have to,

He did anyway.

He helped me clean and organize my room,

Even though in a second I’d mess it up again.

Loved me with all my flaws.

Wanted only the best a father could wish.

Now he’s gone and I still exist.

With memories that are fading-

I’m afraid they’ll be gone in a flash.

How can I save them

Before they disappear?

Once they are gone I doubt they’ll appear.

Summer

**The Rabbit and Its Tail is now available for preorder. It will be available starting July 8, 2016. Please click and visit: The Rabbit and Its Tail link. More information is posted on my blog as well as on Amazon Kindle.**